tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post2005441215313445045..comments2023-10-30T07:03:05.926-07:00Comments on tunggu teduh dulu: Writing, what do you know about it? : 1st draftlupikirlah sendirihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03539416045925582774noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post-5422702518768122882008-12-16T15:03:00.000-08:002008-12-16T15:03:00.000-08:00Owh n another thing lupikirlah sendiri, I do not t...Owh n another thing lupikirlah sendiri, I do not think that there is something wrong with Darla, whether she ever exists or not. That is what I want the readers to think about. You are dealing with a mentally sick person like Serena, I will left it to ur own imagination and judgement. But can u see dat her father is far more mentally ill than her? well, my story really gives a brain tortured. hehe<BR/><BR/>And babysbreath, how Serena killed her father, I will consider about it or maybe I will left it remains unknown. It depends on my flow of ideas (i must think of sthg).. huhu thnx for the suggestion.Ummi Nisrina Adnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14263430552131637390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post-81212801868902802712008-12-16T06:42:00.000-08:002008-12-16T06:42:00.000-08:00my draft, this is my response due to your question...my draft, this is my response due to your questions:<BR/><BR/>wow2.. quite controversial.. hehe dat means my first attempt to make you all feel puzzled is a success. First of all, I agree that I did not explain much on the characters which make all of u r quite confused.<BR/><BR/>As for lupikirlah sendiri, at first u r the most puzzled person here because of ur expectation. You already expect that I write about my own experience. Well, for me dat is ur mistake. You should'nt expect but read first before u expect any better from me. The title itself does not have anything to do with me.<BR/><BR/>As for hanmie, yes, i did it in different points of view, and I'm glad that you noticed that. Ok, the first and a few last paragraphs are in present tense because they happen at the same time. While in the middle is a flashback. Happen before now.<BR/><BR/>Thanx for all of your comment. I'll try to improve in my second draft.Ummi Nisrina Adnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14263430552131637390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post-52206651558130035572008-12-13T17:51:00.000-08:002008-12-13T17:51:00.000-08:00first of all, your drafts really give me new info ...first of all, your drafts really give me new info especially about writing. Frankly, i never like writing. But here you give some tips that i think it's quite good especially in encouraging someone in writing.<BR/><BR/>Overall, your writing is simple and i'm enjoy reading it. But just like others said, you may need to give a bit clear clarification in certain things. For e.g cadburry's ad. That advertisement is only in our country. Choose some examples that your reader familiar. And give clarification in your essay a bit can make it betterhanmie7227https://www.blogger.com/profile/05806289905364065935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post-50792478347292610102008-12-13T06:10:00.000-08:002008-12-13T06:10:00.000-08:00The part that I like about this essay is the sense...The part that I like about this essay is the sense of informality that it has. <BR/><BR/>Maybe you can add points or tips to make readers become attracted to your readingyagamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14259656937249577778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post-54675893271399723532008-12-11T19:40:00.000-08:002008-12-11T19:40:00.000-08:00you are making your audience puzzled.Cadbury choc...you are making your audience puzzled.Cadbury choc ad? Sorry, but I don’t get what are u trying to state here. u may understand it but ur reader might not. care to explain more? I'm a bit confuse/puzzle.<BR/>Maybe you can add more points on how to love writing. I love to read but it does not necessarily makes me want to write. However I do think that I love to write due to events that happened in my life. This is just an opinion but I think we can start to love writing by keeping a small book and a pen wherever we go. Therefore during the day, when we encounter certain event we can quickly jot it down in the small book that we carry. I used to see the travelers do this. They kept a small book and wrote sth in it during their free time.babysbreathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10269285550020299870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002366483754982815.post-16280160871645187872008-12-10T05:09:00.000-08:002008-12-10T05:09:00.000-08:00First of all, I think that it should be more inter...First of all, I think that it should be more interesting if you changed your topic into 'the art of writing' rather than wat it is now. It is more suitable and not too formal.<BR/><BR/>Your essay is interesting with lots of expressions and high vocabularies.<BR/><BR/>The introductory paragraph especially the first few lines are confusing me. "Writing is my hobby. Why? Have I known the answer, I would have stopped writing. I don't know, it just come that way, I just like reading and writing; a package huh. If one asks me, then I would answer it is because of my interest in it. Interest? Who would love writing anyway?" you know the answer from wat i understood, should u stop writing then? hehe<BR/><BR/>Other than that ur essay is very good. keep up the good work!Ummi Nisrina Adnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14263430552131637390noreply@blogger.com