Thursday, October 16, 2008


2nd draft~Being fat is not a sin!



Imagine this situation; “I don't eat or drink at parties because someone will say, don't eat that, it'll make you fat”. Or “I can't go to the playgrounds; I'm scared the chains of the swings will break”. Fat is one of the most frightening words in a woman's life. Who wants to be fat? Certainly not you and not me. But in reality today when the world moves fast where the word global and glokal come in and people keep saying “broaden your mind to be a first class mind”, they still point out their fingers to fat people especially fat women. Do you get what I'm trying to say? I mean despite of the so- called brilliant mind or education they get, these people still make remarks, or sneer towards the fat women. Apart of that, women are getting restless and scared they will put on more weights and wish they would die in their sleep if they cannot lose the pounds.



I have discussed this with my friends, how people can get easily fat? Or it is easy to get fat? I think all of you know the answers, and we usually associate them with bulk of food, greasy and oily fried chicken, heavily-decorated cakes and etc, but wait dear, all of fat cases are not because of those reasons, but simply to the factor of metabolism. Actually people with low metabolism would be prone to get the excessive fat, and vice versa, you know what I mean. It’s hard for me to explain it here because well, I’m not the expert. (I should learn more!). Just remember this fact, and you will feel better!
This action; where we call it prejudice among fat women sometimes has been learnt by our children themselves. Even when we ask them, they would say that being fat is ugly, or maybe from their actions; they prefer more slim girls than the big ones. On other cases, there may be one child asks their plump mother, “Why can't you be like other mothers?” Children as their mind is full with sense of inquiry would continue to give this “honest remarks” on those fat people because they have been bombarded with the ideas before. Well lessons for the beginners, isn't it?


While the prejudice among adults are more severe than the previous ones. For example people who acknowledge them as normal; do not want fat women in health spa because according to them, “ the fatty are smelly” or “they take up too much room”. While in the shopping complex, the changing room is too small, or some evil remarks like fat women can't run, and they can't get pregnant. These are all examples of double edged oppression towards these fat women.



Being fat doesn’t mean you are ugly, but the other way round. Just see the problem as an opportunity to change your life. Sitting there crying would not solve it, but facing it with great courage is the ultimate fight between you and the morons (if you know what I mean). Everyone has his or her own problem, it is you who is chosen to face the battle and just remember God would never give His servants burden that cannot be carried on their shoulders.


As a conclusion, being fat is not a sin. An American researcher Dr. Paul Ernsberg said; to expect a person to become thin is as unreasonable as expecting a black person to bleach her skin, so guys, let us think and make a paradigm shift towards this double standard on these bigger people.

9 comments:

blueberry said...

i think for the paragraph development, it seems to be uneven. the first paragraph and the second paragraph seems to be a bit longer compared to the 3rd, 4th and the last paragraph.
try to distribute your idea evenly to make your writing become more organized.

maybe for the introduction you need to introduce the idea briefly and conclude them in the conclusion. try to explain and express your ideas in the content paragraph and write in almost the same length for each paragraph

hanmie7227 said...

I think you did a good job in showing your feeling to the reader. Feel good when i read it.

However, i agree what blueberry said. I think you should organise your paragraph. The length of all paragraphs should be in balance. It is better doing that way.

Besides, i think you should divide the second paragraph into two parts.The first one is about how people easily get fat and second is about the prejudice among fat woman. You have raised two issues in one paragraph. So, it is better to divide and you can talked about it more and give examples.

yagami said...

A thorough and well elaborated essay. I like when you put the term "double edge oppression." Maybe u can elaborate more on that too.
Once I had watched Wanita Hari Ini and from the discussion, the panels said that everyone is born with different physical, the big one should be the big one and the slim one should be the slim one. The most important thing is how to show yourself appealing to others. They should not be intimidate by their physical appearance.
Even so, it is hard to wipe off the thought that fat people are ugly from the mind of the society.

~PeRsOna NoN gRaTa~ said...

i was attracted to your picture. it was made your article attractive to read.

i was agree that we should change our perception on fat people. the prejudice among adults made our children thought the same thing.

maybe in your 3rd article you are like to add some story about someone who is fat but success in her/his life..

nEuRuLe @z@Ni said...

i hate that picture..put it away..personally i like your style of writing.. you have made pargraph. that is an improvement. but you better put this-This action; where we call it prejudice among fat women sometimes has been learnt by our children themselves. Even when we ask them, they would say that being fat is ugly, or maybe from their actions; they prefer more slim girls than the big ones. On other cases, there may be one child asks their plump mother, “Why can't you be like other mothers?” Children as their mind is full with sense of inquiry would continue to give this “honest remarks” on those fat people because they have been bombarded with the ideas before. Well lessons for the beginners, isn't it?- as one paragraph..or maybe you can make use of simple sentences sometimes.. instead of using all complex sentences..it might made users feel relax and interesting.canu give an exact example of a fat person that think that being fat is a sin. then you canb argue about the topic, then you can flow with your elaboration...i can see there are question raised and u make readers think. that is very interactive.. nice..you can improve.

fahmi said...

good effort to find information. maybe u can study more about people metabolisme just for your knowledge.
other that just improve your writing when you want to do another topic in the future. make sure you enjoy writting to make sure your writting intresting

Ummi Nisrina Adni said...

I really like your essay. It is just that maybe you could re-paragraph your essay so that it will balance. This is especially applied to intro para.

Your language so far so good. You have a good vocab too. Keep up the good work! ganbate!

babysbreath said...

Sorry for the late comment...

After reading this several times, I began to wonder, do this situations happen in Malaysia? It does, but somehow I got the feeling it didn’t really portray situations in Malaysia. I think if you can include local situations, it will become more interesting because we can relate it to ourselves. For example, our elders always said that if you’re fat you would not be able to get married (org taknak la kiranya). stuff like that...

Anonymous said...

1.Imagine this situation; “I don't eat or drink at parties because someone will say, don't eat that, it'll make you fat”. Or “I can't go to the playgrounds; I'm scared the chains of the swings will break”.

juz like dis sentences bcoz u r using d word 'will'. first u ask us to imagine then u use d will word to show prediction maybe.. luv it

2.they prefer more slim girls than the big ones.

comparative adjective rite.. slimmer

3.On other cases, there may be one child asks their plump mother, “Why can't you be like other mothers?”

lupikirlah sendiri.. i thought most of mothers in this world are a bit plump compared to their anak dara time.. dunno. maybe we have to contact jabatan perangkaan and ask them to make a banci bout dis


being fat is not a sin, but maybe it's a burden to the body. all the unnecessary fat is like calling for disease..like diabetes. though skinny person also can get all sort of penyakit. but i still prefer d moderate one.. not too skinny and fat.. juz nice